After four days of bleary eyed living I came home with a passing certificate in my grubby little hands, passed on the good news on facebook and promptly took a nap, woke up and went back to sleep.
It is always difficult to try to absorb so much material in such a short time. Back that up with the fear of not passing the class gives one a sense of dread. It is not making sense. Is it just me with a look of bewilderment on my face?
I look around for confirmation. I get mixed messages. Some do well, most not. Some act like they haven't opened the book at all. Many excuses for not doing homework with of course with the expected results. I know better.
"Read the book" the instructor said "and the handouts too!"
And I did. I got by on 5 hours sleep each day. Why? Because it is important to me not to fail.
By lunch time though, I had hit the wall. Burning eyes, fatigue setting in, I was getting worried. Would I make it? I regrouped one more time for the afternoon push.
And I did it. I had not passed most of the small tests beforehand as all the words and phrases seem to wash over me in a nonsensical fashion and moments of hopelessness reared its evil head.
But I guessed for a moment it worked, I remembered enough. A silent cry of happiness bounced around in my head. A small but important victory.
Next Wednesday is the state test. A monster to be slain. Five days to polish up my armor and sharpen my sword.
a coffee or two
and all the yard work that has been waiting for me!