Saturday, April 30, 2011

Dr. Andrew Weil, “Are You Depressed, Or Just Human?” Click on the title for the link


Dr. Andrew Weil, “Are You Depressed, Or Just Human?”

“Are You Depressed, Or Just Human?”
by Dr. Andrew Weil

"Depression can be devastating. Its worst form, major depressive disorder, is marked by all-encompassing low mood, thoughts of worthlessness, isolation, and loss of interest or pleasure in most or all activities. But this clinical description misses the deep, experiential horror of the condition; the suffocating sense of despair that can make life seem too arduous to bear.

Here's something else we can say confidently about depression: it is complex. The cause is often a mix of factors including genetic brain abnormalities, sunlight deprivation, poor nutrition, lack of exercise, and social issues including homelessness and poverty. Also, cause and effect can be hard to tease apart - is social isolation a cause or an effect of depression?

Unfortunately, we can make one more unassailable observation about depression: the disorder - or, more precisely, the diagnosis - has gone stratospheric. An astonishing 10 percent of the U.S. population was prescribed an antidepressant in 2005; up from 6 percent in 1996.

Why has the diagnosis become so popular? There are likely several reasons. It's possible that more people today are truly depressed than they were a decade ago. Urbanized, sedentary lifestyles; nutrient-poor processed food; synthetic but unsatisfying entertainments and other negative trends, all of which are accelerating, may be driving up the rate of true depression. But I doubt the impact of these trends has nearly doubled in just ten years.

So here's another possibility. The pharmaceutical industry is cashing in. In 1996, the industry spent $32 million on direct-to-consumer (DTC) antidepressant advertising. By 2005, that nearly quadrupled, to $122 million. It seems to have worked. More than 164 million antidepressant prescriptions were written in 2008, totaling $9.6 billion in U.S. sales. Today, the television commercial is ubiquitous:

* A morose person stares out of a darkened room through a rain-streaked window.

* Quick cut to a cheery logo of an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, the most common type of antidepressant pharmaceutical).

* Cross-fade to the same person, medicated and smiling, emerging into sunlight to pick flowers, ride a bicycle or serve birthday cake to laughing children.

* A voice over gently suggests, "Ask your doctor if [name of drug] is right for you."

The message - all sadness is depression, depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, this pill will make you happy, your doctor will get it for you - could not be clearer. The fact that the ad appears on television, the ultimate mass medium, also implies that depression is extremely common.

Yet a study published in the April, 2007, issue of the “Archives of General Psychiatry,” based on a survey of more than 8,000 Americans, concluded that estimates of the number who suffer from depression at least once during their lifetimes are about 25 percent too high. The authors noted that the questions clinicians use to determine if a person is depressed don't account for the possibility that the person may be reacting normally to emotional upheavals such as a lost job or divorce (only bereavement due to death is accounted for in the clinical assessment). And a 15-year study by an Australian psychiatrist found that of 242 teachers, more than three-quarters met the criteria for depression. He wrote that depression has become a "catch-all diagnosis."

What's going on? It's clear that depression, a real disorder, is being exploited by consumer marketing and is over-diagnosed in our profit-driven medical system. Unlike hypertension or high cholesterol - which have specific, numerical diagnostic criteria - a diagnosis of depression is ultimately subjective. Almost any average citizen (particularly one who watches a lot of television) can persuade him or herself that transient, normal sadness is true depression. And far too many doctors are willing to go along.

The solution to this situation is, unsurprisingly, complex, cutting across social, medical, political and cultural bounds. But here are three major changes that are needed immediately:

* Medically, thousands of studies confirm that depression, particularly mild to moderate forms, can be alleviated by lifestyle changes. These include exercise, lowered caffeine intake, diets high in fruits and vegetables, and certain supplements, particularly omega-3 fatty acids. Physicians need to be trained in these methods, as they are at the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona in Tucson. See Natural Depression Treatment for more about these low-tech methods, or the "Depression" chapter in the excellent professional text, Integrative Medicine by David Rakel, M.D. (Saunders, 2007).

* Politically, if Congress - which seems hopelessly addicted to watering down all aspects of health care reform - can't manage to ban all DTC ads in one stroke, it should start by immediately ending those for antidepressants.

* Personally, be skeptical of all DTC ads for antidepressants. The drugs may turn out to be no more effective than placebos. Many of them have devastating side effects, and withdrawal, even if done gradually, can be excruciating. While they can be lifesavers for some people, in most cases they should be employed only after less risky and expensive lifestyle changes have been tried.

Finally, recognize that no one feels good all the time. An emotionally healthy person can, and probably should, stare sadly out of a window now and then. Many cultures find the American insistence on constant cheerfulness and pasted-on smiles disturbing and unnatural. Occasional, situational sadness is not pathology - it is part and parcel of the human condition, and may offer an impetus to explore a new, more fulfilling path. Beware of those who attempt to make money by convincing you otherwise.” 
About the author: Andrew Weil, M.D., is the founder and director of the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine and the editorial director of

The Royals-Part 2 The Hats!

With all the pageantry of the wedding, what one notices after awhile is what people are wearing and the ladies wore hats! Of all shape and sizes.

and then this one

and this one

and this one
actually, this one looked the nicest, maybe because she is pretty

I dare say most of the hats worn on the wedding day will not see the light of day once again unless it is to pull it out of the closet and reminisce  about the Royal Wedding.

As to the cost of the wedding, does it matter? It makes the people feel good, it is a nice positive look at the country and their customs.  I can't even begin to wonder about the cost if we ever did that here in the states.

and now of course

coffee time


Friday, April 29, 2011

Ok, You Caught Me Watching The Royals-Part One

No, it wasn't a planed event on my part. I had dragged my self out of bed and decided to do some baking and cooking before going off to work. The TV was on the Weather Channel and they did a cut-away to the wedding and at that point I decided to join the world wide viewing audience.

I was fortunate that the ceremony was almost over. There was some wonderful shots of the church, quite majestic on it's own. I marveled at the skill and ingenuity that it took to build it. A thing of beauty. If I did visit, I would always be behind the tour trying to figure out how it was constructed, and where was that keystone!

She is very beautiful, and as I have a thing for brown eye, brown hair beauties, she seemed perfect. I hope she can handle the lifestyle. She, being next to him, made him look more handsome. On his own, I am not too sure.

I will write more tomorrow as it has been a very long day. A cold beer seems in order to end the day and the night.



Thursday, April 28, 2011

Not My Style

Almost every guy wishes he was the good looking, charming, sweet talking womanizer at one time or another. You know the guy, goes up to and home with any woman he wants. They all it seems succumb to his charms. They seem dazzled and flattered and unable to resist and off to bed they go. That night, they think they are the one.  Really?

 I knew a guy like that. He was all of the above. I talked to him about it one day, how it was to be like that. his thoughts would surprise you,

He was out and about almost every night, him and a few buddies, most of the time on his own, looking for a woman to have sex with. Sometimes they were beautiful and young, sometimes not. It was something he had to have constantly, almost like a drug, a daily habit. But it didn't make him happy.  It left an empty feeling. But he had to have more. Each woman he met was soon forgettable, names and numbers tossed away.
He told me about a woman, she was so beautiful and talented, and he wondered why she was with him, it brought out his self doubts about himself.

I asked if he was always like this. He told me it was a family tradition. His father was the same way, always cheating on his mother all of the time. He was taught by one of the best.

I asked him how he could support such a life style. His mother had a condo nearby and all his expenses were covered by her. His paycheck was used for fun stuff, giving the illusion of financial abundance while working as an hourly right next to me.

He would talk about a bunch of stuff, but as one guy to another, we could see through his BS and laugh him off, he would laugh along with us. But women will see what they want to see and believe. Gullible, yea, I think so.

I guess any guy can be like him, most choose not to. Life is tough enough without feeling that emptiness inside that we all try to avoid.

Can women see through this? Some can, some can't, some don't care if he is like that, and some are like him.
They feel flattered they are the object of his desire even if they are being used.

I haven't seen him in many years but I am sure he is till the same way, habits ingrained in his lifestyle. He is older now, like all of us, but I am sure the routine has not changed.  I think he is eyeing you now ladies, will you succumb to his charms? I am betting you will. You might say no, his track record will say yes.

I am not like that. But it does have it's downside when one is taken for granted or forgotten about. But I am not going to change.

It is not my style.

coffee time


Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Derwent Tool Box

Tools of the trade
Someday my work tools

My studio
ha ha
table and chairs outside on the patio!

and of course
every cubicle needs a window view

when I am drawing I don't look up much

a little peek into my life

coffee time


Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Gato Barbieri Straight Into The Sunrise

I will always include music to set the mood for love. It does not always work, but when it does, oh my!

Quietly, this becomes post 600. I hope many more.

coffee time

The Fist

Hand drawing continued

My try

My paper is a 50 lb. weight.
I have been advised to use 
250 lb. weight paper
which is rougher and holds charcoal better

The charcoal I used is a blunt type of material.
I think I need more of a pencil style
for more detail

coffee time


Monday, April 25, 2011

If Leaving Me Is Easy

Sometimes things aren't planned. A ma succumbs to the fates that befall him. Powerless, he knows it will end wrong,  It will end badly.
 Like Icarus flying to close to the sun, ignoring instructions, he goes on, wax melting, and plummets to the Earth. An unkind way to go, but he tried. And would try again.

night time
and sleep


Add on black

I know I should have redrawn it, But I added some charcoal to my existing pencil drawing. Like a kid at Christmas I couldn't wait.  Mixed results I think, but onward I go.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Not Quite Charcoal Yet!

I have learned that to do charcoal
drawings, one must use charcoal.
I have not yet purchased charcoal
so the depth of darkness is not yet there.

I found this drawing online

my version is below
done with soft graphite pencils

I must get to the store soon

coffee time


Thursday, April 21, 2011

Why not rain down on me

You know I never meant to see you again
and I only passed by as a friend
All this time I stayed out of sight
I started wondering why

Now I, I wish it would rain down, down on me
Yes I wish it would rain, rain down on me now

You said you didn't need me in your life
I guess you were right
Well I never meant to cause you no pain
But it looks like I did it again

Now I, I wish ....

Though your hurt is gone, mines hanging on, inside
And I know it's eating me through every night and day
I'm just waiting on your sign

'Cos I know, I know I never meant to cause you no pain
And I realize I let you down
But I know in my heart of heart of hearts
I know I'm never gonna hold you again

Monday, April 18, 2011

Now This Hurts!

A guy expects to get hurt on occasion, It can be very painful at times, but usually goes away. I can happen at work or play. I wish I could say it was because I am a weekend warrior, but that has passed me by. I am trying to get my knee in walking order.

Nope, my right shoulder is killing me, a tear or something pulled I don't know. It doesn't hurt in all directions, but in the right one, it is like WTF, why me?

Does age matter? I am sure it does. Is it an accumulation of everything I have done in the past?
Once again yes. When did it happen? I wish I knew. A lot of my job is a blend of customer service and very physical labor. Load that refrigerator in your truck? You bet! After all I did sell it to you didn't I?

Life right now is doing it's best to put me on a shelf, I refuse to give up.

People do look at you different when you are hurt. Some think it is because you are too old. Women that are active cross you off their list. They will go with a younger guy or someone they perceive as in better shape.
They don't come out and say it, but you know.  Life sometimes isn't fair.  But pride counts for something.

Now where did I put the heating pad?

coffee time


Sunday, April 17, 2011

When I grow up I want to be....

My dream when I grew up
was to play 3rd base
for the 
Chicago Cubs

Ron Santo was my hero
my glove, like his glove,
like the one above
was a Wilson A 2000

He was a real good player
should be in the hall of fame
He died recently, diabetes did him in

I bought this glove
when I was 15 years old
It took me a long time to get the money to pay for it.

I wasn't good enough
love for the game
trying hard to become good
weren't enough

reality set in
I knew by 18 it was over

I bought that glove
43 years ago

your first dream
like your first love
never go away

do they? 

Starting A New Blog

I have decided to add a new blog just for the art work I have been doing, to put it all in one place, and to show other works I find interesting.

It could be from other blogs. pictures, photos, new art, old art, whatever. When I can I will give credit to the artist, it is the right thing to do.

If you find your work posted and you want it removed let me know.  I will have my e mail posted on the sidebar.

The blog will have a catchy name to it, one that you will always remember.

R Jacob Post Artwork!

ok, ok, maybe not so catchy! ha ha

I hope you enjoy my art journey, I am doing the best I can with what I have.

coffee time


Saturday, April 16, 2011


I found this drawing online. 
It said it was done by Raphael. 
I liked it and thought I would give it a try.

my version

It was a lot of fun to draw.

But now, it is coffee time, of course!


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Draw What I See?

the journey continues

above is a watercolor by
Eric Ravillous
circa 1930
shown at the Fry Art Gallery

my attempt
A bit of difficulty converting a watercolor 
into black and white
but I think it came out alright.

If something catches my eye
and I think I can draw it
I will try.
I am not afraid to try to draw
I am more afraid not to try.

coffee time

Monday, April 11, 2011

If You had One Chance

I am tired

I am tired right about now. My sleep is sporadic.My knees ache. I am worn out. I know I am not alone.
I am finding some comfort in listening to my favorite music. I am enjoying the challenges of drawing. I am selling well at work. But I am being pulled in so many directions that I am getting dizzy. The people in the store are being asked to do more and more. I am not alone in this feeling. It is a sign of the times.

It is what it is.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

The Dark Before The Dawn?

Is this something I am feeling?


Human Interest: Coach Michael Taylor, “Men’s Emotional Healing”

“Men’s Emotional Healing”
by Coach Michael Taylor

“In 1989 I was experiencing a series of traumatic experiences that were beginning to take their toll. My divorce and separation from my kids were extremely painful and had begun to negatively impact my life. I had slipped into a deep state of depression and was barely able to function on a daily basis. As my depression deepened I went into isolation in which I literally shut myself off from the outside world.

Although I was able to go to work and function in that capacity, I was completely disconnected from any social settings. I was not dating. I did not socialize with my friends. I had difficulty sleeping. I would rarely eat and I had began to lose weight which was rare for me being a former personal trainer that took excellent care of my physical body. After several months I began to have fleeting thoughts of suicide and it appeared that my situation was hopeless. In an effort to alleviate some of the pain, I began to read books dealing with depression.

As I read them I could see myself in some of the stories. I definitely had all of the symptoms of depression and I knew that I had to deal with it head on if I ever wanted to get my life back on track. After reading several books I realized that I was still deeply depressed and had not really begun to deal with the issues that were causing my depression. Instinctively I knew that I needed help and I decided that I would go into therapy.

After making the decision to get help, another series of challenges surfaced. First of all, how was I going to find a therapist? How would I know which one to choose? What if the therapist couldn’t help me? Would I be able to change? Could therapy “fix” me? What about the money? I was completely broke and definitely could not pay someone to listen to my problems. What was I going to do? These are just a few of the questions that were going through my mind.

My greatest fear was wondering what would happen if my employees found out. As a manager, I was considered the leader and I definitely did not want to appear weak in front of my co-workers. I believed that I needed to keep this a secret so that I would not lose the respect of my employees. In addition, I did not want my superiors to know because I thought I might lose my job if they found out. After a few months of agonizing over these questions I knew that I had to take the chance and try therapy. I didn’t have any other choice. It was seek help or die. There was no gray area. I decided that I definitely wanted to live and I somehow gained the courage to go to a therapist office.

My first attempt at therapy did not go well. I walked into a therapist office and pretended that I was seeking information for a friend. I’m sure the people there knew this but they allowed me to walk out with some of their brochures and a phone number to their suicide hotline. To be honest I was absolutely terrified. Although I was scared, deep down I knew that I would have to gain the courage to try again. I waited a few days and tried a different therapist office. This time I had a completely different result.

As I walked into the office I believe the receptionist picked up on my fear. I had began asking her questions about depression and whether or not they had any books that I could read. All of a sudden a therapist walked out and began asking me questions. “May I help you?” she asked. “Not really, I’m just looking for a little information about depression” “Are you depressed?” “I’m not really sure” I answered. “Why don’t you come inside and let’s talk a little. Is that alright?” “I guess so.” As I followed her into her office it felt as if my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I was so nervous and afraid that I was literally dripping with sweat. She obviously picked up on this and began to put my mind at ease.

”What is your name?”
”Well Michael I can sense that you are a little nervous so let me start by asking what I can do to help you. Is there anything I can do for you?”
”Well maybe. I have been doing some research about depression and I think I’m depressed but I’m really not sure.”
”Do you feel depressed?”
”Based on what I’ve read so far I think I am. But to be completely honest I’m not sure I know exactly what depression is supposed to feel like. Does that make any sense to you?”
”It makes a lot of sense to me. Unfortunately most men do not recognize how they feel. Men have been conditioned to disconnect from their emotions and that makes it extremely difficult for men to express how they really feel. Most men will tell you what they think but they usually do not know how they feel. You apparently fit into this category.”
”I’m not sure if I really understand what you are saying but a part of me thinks that you are right.”
”You just validated the point I made. You are currently speaking from an intellectual perspective instead of an emotional one. It sounds as if you are disconnected from your emotions.”
“Let’s assume that you are right. If I am disconnected from my emotions how do I get reconnected? Do you have any books on how to do this?"
“Unfortunately you can not reconnect to your emotions by reading books. In order for you to reconnect you have to relearn how to feel. This can be accomplished through therapy with me or any trained therapist”
“I really don’t understand what you mean. But if I decide to relearn how to feel how long will it take?"
“I really can’t answer that question. It’s really up to you and how committed you are to doing the work.”
“What do you mean doing the work? What kind of work is involved?”
“In the therapeutic community we use the word work because it takes a considerable amount of effort to heal yourself so that you can reconnect with your emotions. Doing the work means that you become willing to opening yourself up on an emotional level. This can be quite difficult at times.”
“Well I believe I’m ready. I’m really tired of being alone and I definitely want to experience some fun in my life again. I think I can do this so how much will it cost?”
“I operate on a sliding scale based on your ability to pay. The most important thing is for you to make the commitment to yourself to heal and we can address the money issue at a later date. Are you ready to begin? Let’s set up a date and time for you to begin your healing.”
“I just wanted to thank you for being so nice and understanding. The truth is I was about to run out of your office before you showed up. Now I am really glad that I came because I really believe that you can help me.”
“That is a great attitude to have. I’m glad that you trust me enough to work with you. Just remember that I can guide you but you must be willing to do the work. As long as you believe that you can heal I can assure you that you will. Just stay committed and trust the process and you will be just fine. The truth is you have already done the hard part by showing up today. It takes an incredible amount of courage to be here and I’m proud of you for taking the first step.”

As I left the therapist’s office that day I knew that I had just taken the biggest step of my life. I did not know what to expect but I knew that I was willing to do whatever it took to heal my emotions and relearn how to feel. I became committed to my own healing and I can now say that I am emotionally healed and connected to my authentic self. As the therapist mentioned, it was not easy but it was definitely possible. It has been one of the most challenging yet most fulfilling journeys of my life. I can not put into words the joy I feel on a regular basis as a result of doing my emotional work. My relationships now work, my creativity and sense of reverence is enhanced, my love of nature has been rekindled and my professional life is rewarding and fulfilling. I took the road less traveled and it has made all the difference in the world for me.

I wanted to share this story because there is such a negative stigma about men and therapy that I believe it’s time for a new conversation. In this new conversation men will recognize the importance of healing their emotions and they will put forth the effort to do their healing work.

When we learn to support each other in our growth we can remove the fear and stigma of being emotionally vulnerable which will ultimately result in us being happier human beings. I personally believe that this is the most important work men can participate in and we must begin supporting each other through this process. If we will gain the courage to do this work we will see a decline in domestic violence, child abuse, alcoholism and random acts of violence. The time has come for a new conversation about our emotional healing. Are you willing to join the conversation?”

Please visit Coach Taylor's excellent website, now in the "Favorites" sidebar.

Hat tip to Alex Noble for this material. 

Click on the title to get to coyoteprime!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

They were thinking "I Am Glad It's Not Me"

Over the last few weeks I had the unfortunate duty to attend two wakes. I did not know the people who died, rather I showed up out of respect to the people involved.  The first involved a brother of a friend of my son. We know the dad. The son was 29 and died of an overdose.

The second wake involved someone I worked with, he and his wife went to bed one night and when he awoke the following morning, she was dead.

Both sad events, both with loss of life. I watched as people came in to pay their respects, trying to offer a bit of comfort to the grieving loved ones. A few spoke, speaking of the good times, sometime with tears, voices choking with emotion. The turn out of people was bigger then I expected, which was good. Families and friends are scattered throughout the country so I did not know what to expect.

Might the thinking be, I wondered,  throughout the gathering was,  it is not my turn yet. I am not ready yet. I will never be ready.

But the one thought in everyone's mind was:

I am glad it is not me.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


The Zombies version I think is the best.
This song was used as a theme song for a summer replacement show last year.
It has been awhile since I posted some music.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

What Really Happened At The Race!

The untold story!
What really happened behind the scenes!

Click on the picture twice to read it all!

The Key Gods Smiled!

File this under "Amazing"!

After writing my last post, the same day,  I went to work, parked in my normal parking spot, I crossed over the grassy meridian and there they were, lying in a feathery bed of grass, my keys! It is the route I normally walk to get to the entrance of the store. I had changed my way of walking only the last week.

It was too late to save the money for new truck keys, but I don't have to replace all the other ones, saving money and a huge hassle.

Maybe I should write a post on finding the winning lottery ticket?

coffee time

Monday, April 4, 2011

Pray To The God Of Lost Keys!

Continuing on from my last post. Tired, exhausted.

You know you are having a bad week when......
You lose your car keys
and house keys

They fell off somewhere......searching.....backtrack.....did you look?.......uh huh.....everywhere? about..... Yep......and over.......yes!!!!!

I looked everywhere! I keep my keys on a key ring that hooks on my belt loop, not in my pocket. I know how it happened. It wasn't all the way around the loop and slipped off. But where? I had run a personal errand before lunch. Somewhere in a four hour time span counting in the store, they dropped off. I checked lost and found several times.


Now I needed a ride home. And a ride to work. For the next three days. Why? The truck key has a computer chip that has to be reprogramed and that will cost a lot. I kept hoping to find it. Finally I had the truck towed in and a new key made, two actually, needed a new backup too, which I didn't have before, in case you were wondering.

I thought, heh, it could have been worse, I could of lost my wallet, which I keep right here in this pocket. (patting pocket)

oh oh...

Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Week Without Sleep!

Well, almost. Here at work we have just gone through our semi annual inventory. About twenty of us are given the responsibility of doing the main counting and to verify the counts of a service company that is hired to count stock on the shelves 8 ft. high and below.  They come in on the second day. On the first day we run up and down ladders and using an LRT gun we scan boxes and individual items on the shelves, checking every nook and cranny for stock to be counted. With approximately $ 4 and 1/2 million dollars to count, this is no small feat. Our store carries 40-50 thousand items at any given time, a lot to count!

Sleep? Oh yea, getting to that. We had to be at work at 5:00 am each morning. I normally come in at 1:00 p.m..
What is wrong with this picture? ha ha. I tried to go to bed very early to get 8 hours of quality sleep on Monday evening.

And I laid there. Clock ticking. Can a cell phone clock tick? tick tock
Normally I fall asleep within seconds. This is not good. Finally sleep comes. One of the dogs comes into the room needing to go out. My sleep is broken. I had maybe two hours of sleep and it set the trend for the week.

Tuesday night same routine. By Wednesday people are commenting on my appearance. Thursday I look like death warmed over. Friday, we came in for a final three hours, stretched to almost 5 hours. Eyes very glassy by now. The feeling of driving on a trip way too long and way too far.  Finally time to go. Inventory was good. We did good.

Time to go home and sleep. Nope, too tired to sleep! Night time comes, the punishment continues.

Saturday, a new work week. Having trouble seeing the computer screen. Talking to customers is very difficult.

Sunday will be better. Slowly things will be normal again,
As for know while I type, I can feel the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's coming on.


Saturday, April 2, 2011

Congratulations to Linda and Her Twaddle!

Linda and her mates finished the 100 K (60 miles) in 31 hours and 19 minutes. A major victory and accomplishment for her and her team.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Sorry for no new posts

I had inventory at work for the last 4 days. I am exhausted and have been sleep deprived and have been too tired. Sorry. New stuff coming soon.

Tanks for your patience!



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