Things About RJ You Did Not Know - part two

Ok, I am almost done.

The thing I fear as I get older is not being mentally sharp or physically able to do what I want to do.

I would rather be alone then with someone who does not care about me.

I do things for people expecting nothing in return because it is the right thing to do.

A grateful smile and a thank you in return is payment enough.

Ever since I was little I wanted to visit Australia. That will happen sooner then later.

I might be wrong but I think the city of Copenhagen has the most beautiful women in the world.

I would love being Superman only because he has the Fortress of Solitude. Talk about being alone!

I don't believe in God. Religion has been the cause of more deaths then all the diseases and famine since time began. My House quote that I have on my site that says " If you could reason with religious people, there would  be no religious people" is so true. However I don't care if you believe, it doesn't bother me.

I sometimes zone out while doing repetitive things, losing count of what I am doing.

I sometimes switch numbers around, but not always which is really annoying.

I love some stress at work, it makes time fly and the day more interesting.

I appreciate when someone cares about me. It doesn't happen often.

I don't like mean people.

I don't like people who think they are morally superior. Based on what?

I don't like when people blame others for their own misfortune, bad attitude, or lack of effort.

I love the internet, even with all its shortcomings.

I think I could get used to not having the TV on.

When you watch a program or movie you are watching people do what they want to do in their life. Would people pay to watch you?

People will sell their soul to be wealthy, powerful, or popular. Sounds a lot like high school to me.

I love older women. I will admire a beautiful young woman, but appreciate an older woman more.

Older women are more fit, dress better and have an air of confidence then they did many years ago.
The cougar thing is a myth, besides, I am too old for the younger cougars. Damn.

Loud obnoxious people on TV are annoying and don't contribute anything of importance.

I wonder if any woman finds me good looking.

People often wonder if I dye my hair, some wondered if I have a hairpiece. I still for the most part have a full head of hair. Most men my age are bald or very grey.I do not dye it.  I am lucky I wash it on occasion. It takes about five or six brush strokes and I am done.

I can not grow a nice beard. On the other hand, I don't have to shave my back.

I like having a routine for basic things in life. But I wished I had more opportunities to be spontaneous.

I love to watch people. As a salesman one has to observe all the time. You learn a lot.

I still love fast cars. I always wanted a 1967 Corvette Stingray. I have never been in one and after all these years I would be disappointed if I didn't like it. Sometimes it better to have a dream.

Most people plan a vacation with attention to detail to get there and back and do nothing with their life.

Blogging is an important form of expression. Family members for the most part do not read the blog.

Why is there war?

Everything that you see, watch, or hear, is designed to get you to buy.

I like to put things together with out instructions. Sometimes a picture is all I need.

That is all for now. Might there be a part three someday, maybe.

coffee time

ray

Things You May Not Know About RJ - part one

Some boring stuff I am sure but never the less

I love the colors red and black. A new color that I seem to like is raspberry. I have a few shirts like that.

I don't own a suit. I haven't for over ten years. The need or occasion just doesn't come up anymore.

I love to draw. Currently I am searching for my own particular style and strength. That may take awhile.

I love to write. I don't know if I am any good at it but I give it my best each time out. Getting my thoughts down on paper is very helpful for me.

I like to write poetry. Emotional times make the words pour out and it is very cleansing.

I don't care that much about watching and following sports teams that much anymore. Too many years of disappointments has drained away the fun and enjoyment.

I don't like people who hate their jobs but show up each day and spread their pain around the work site complaining about this and that and how they can't wait for the day to end.

I am a math idiot. I learned math calculations as it related to work, floor plans and so on. Practical stuff.
But I never trust hand written calculations, I must use a calculator when ever possible. Abstract math? Forget about it. And I am envious of people to whom it comes naturally.

I end many a sentence with a preposition. Sorry about that, can't be helped.

I love to cook. I love to bake. When I bake, I love to give it away. It tastes good and it makes people happy. Everyone loves homemade goods and appreciates the effort it took to make it.

I don't like being around people who look like they are suffering when they are working on something, a pained expression on their face.

I love playing drums. I haven't sat down in front of a set in forty years but I know I can still play. The endurance needed, that is something else.

I love my children. They are all better at me at everything and that makes me happy.

I have very few close friends. The ones I do have, have stood the test of time.

I wish I could play the guitar. My brain gets in the way trying to get each hand to work on its own.

If you are my enemy, alive or dead,  I will never forget you. Or forgive.

If you are my friend, I am here for you.

It takes me forever to learn how to do something or understand, but when I do, I will be better then you at it.

I like to do things on my own. Working around the house, even something that takes two people to do, I will figure how to do it by myself, walking, riding a bike, making conversation is very distracting.

I love my music. I enjoy many types and styles but rock and roll still rules for me.

I wish I was great at something. The search continues.

I realized long ago nothing I will do will be perfect. Ever.

I love people with a sense of humor.

I hate laugh tracks on TV.

I love to read. If I like a book, I will keep it and read it again and again seemingly forever. The same thing with a movie I like.

Dogs really are man's best friend. Unconditionally.

That is it for now.

coffee time

ray

Follow Up, Part Two - Destiny of the Flea and the Inchworm and Me

I remember a war story when I was young, comic book style about a soldier lying on the ground who awakens to find out that he has died. He finds it hard to believe as he is up and walking around. He wanders along a road until he reaches a fork in the road. 

He can't decide which way to go, it looks like he is getting a second chance to live. So he chooses to go right. His adventure does not go well and he dies once again. He laments that he had chosen badly and wishes he had gone left instead. Lo and behold he gets the opportunity once again. This time he goes left, but once again it goes badly and he dies. He was dead and nothing was going to change the end result. End of story.

Life is like a big picture puzzle that we all have put together at one time or another. You dump all the pieces out and in most cases find all the edge pieces and see where they fit and before long it looks like a picture frame and you start working on the rest of the puzzle.

The puzzle in this case is you and your life. I think it is set, whatever you are to be, you will be. When the last piece is put in place, it is over. Finished.

But what of working to better yourself, more schooling, becoming a better person, find new talents and so on? A person can change right? 

My point is that anything that you do to change is already part of your puzzle.  If you are a doctor and then become a lawyer, you are supposed to do that. 

A sports superstar, done.

Rich and famous, done.

Model, done.

Rock Star, done.

Poor, done.

What ever you are today and if today ends everything, that is how it is supposed to be.

Everyone has a role to play in their part of the puzzle. The puzzles overlap, but they don't change.

Simplistic, perhaps. Cruel, no I don't think so.

Should one stop trying? No, unless your puzzle ends with you quitting.

The hard part is, no one knows. This is all a guess on my part, a surmise, a word I would use if I was educated.  

Am I totally wrong? Who knows? One thing for sure that I know is...

It is what it is.

time for one more beer.

ray

The Flea, The Inch Worm and Me

Bear with me as I recount a story or two that popped up in my head lately.

There was an experiment in a laboratory with some fleas. They were put in a glass container, to observe, with a lid on top. Now fleas are tremendous jumpers capable of superman type leaps. They started jumping to get out, one could hear the tapping on the lid, a very long time.  This went on for quite some time, tap, tap tap.

Then after some time, the actual time frame escapes me, the sound of the taping stopped. But the fleas were still jumping up and down.  A decision was made to see what would happen with the lid removed.

The fleas continued to jump but only as high as if the lid was still on. Not one flea jumped out of the container.

2nd experiment. A round plate-like dish was produced. Around the edge several worms, inch worms I believe, one behind the other, and food, their favorite, was placed in the center of the dish for them to eat. So picture this now, a ring of worms that would follow the one in front only and a delicious meal awaiting them if they broke away from the pack.

They crawled around the dish, one after another, 24 hours a day for almost a week. Eventually they starved to death even though food was nearby.

A bit of naval gazing here. Am I the worm, the flea, both, none?
Has-is life become a conditioning journey of sorts? After  beating one's head against the ceiling for so long, (Flea) is there a form of acceptance with the hand one is dealt?  Do you continue on the same path, the path of least resistance, (worm) the safe route because it is all we know?
(You and me are interchangeable here.)

I don't have the answer, I don't know.
However I do know this is part one of two of my  musing on this subject.

to be continued

ray

Oops missed some, Sidebar Comments!

You may have noticed or not the comments I put along the side of the posts.  Sometimes witty, sometimes sad, sometimes great quotes I found elsewhere. I change them up on occasion. However, today is the day to showcase them in all their glory. I hope you like them.

Can a man and a woman be long time friends without sex?

I guess we all know the answer to that question.

One day

Maybe one day fate will be kind and we will meet and embrace

game of chance

when you sit down to a game of cards and looking around you can't figure out who is the loser that night, it is you my friend, it is you.

Mark Twain

"Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great." 

Sherlock Holmes

"When you've eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth,"

My Thought

If one looks back in life, there is a long list of people that want to see you fail, there is a longer list of people who do not care what you do, and there are only a handful of people who want to see you succeed.

One must at all costs savor and nurture the handful that make life worth living and striving to achieve a better you.

That handful gets smaller all the time.

me

Wise Old Saying

Just Remember,

When a door is being shut, that means a open window is about to slam on your fingers.

I am so there

"Concentration is the ability to think about absolutely nothing when it is absolutely necessary."

Ray Knight

Switch On

There is no off switch for genius. There is no on switch either.

Disclaimer

No animals were harmed in the writing of this blog

Listen when they tell you

Don't play cards with a guy named Doc.

Don't eat at a restaurant called Mom's

And never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse

then your own.

Yoda Quote
"Do or do not... There is no try."

Just Wondering
If opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, and I have many opinions, does that mean I have many...oh never mind!

Idiot
I am not the village idiot but we are next of kin.

Truth Hurts
Two people together but living alone

It is true
Love is the only cure for loneliness

7 Billion people in the world
and still I feel alone

Sex
The latest scientific survey shows men think about sex 95% of the time. Seems kind of low doesn't it?

Drawing Thumper, how I did it...

This is not meant to be a tutorial on how to do this. This is just how I currently am going about trying to recreate something on paper. I will get better ( I hope ) but as an artist once told me it is a process. Right now, this is mine.

Please click on the pictures, the first 2 are very faint.

Step One

step two

step three

step four

step five

the original copy

below

getting closer

and thanks for playing the game!

time for a cold one ( beer )!

ray

Google Me And What? Anything?

I guess I can hide in the land of Google. Ok, Not completely but close enough. One of the reasons is my last name is the same as the first name of Denzel Washington. Thousands and thousands of lists for him.

Where am I?

I put in Raymond Denzel. Ah ha, Facebook!
Now we have it. I click on and ...heh, that's not me!

WTF, where oh where am I?

Finally, I did find my name for a review for a book I had once read.

And I found my name because of this blog. and my guest poetry spot.

raymond j denzel
ray j denzel

I guess I am not that important on the world search scale

that's it! I must be really boring and unimportant.

Maybe that is a good thing.

beer time

ray

The Bike Hunt

Honestly, I didn't think it would be this difficult. How hard could it be to make a few stops, check out the styles and make price comparisons, and go back later and pick up a new bike?

I decided to make the rounds before work yesterday. First stop the Sports Authority. There was a small cluster of bikes, some hanging from the ceiling, some in racks on the floor. It was broken up by mens, women's and children choices.

It looked all jumbled to me. I looked at the tags trying to figure what kind of bikes were being offered. Most seemed of the mountain bike variety. I guess trail riding would be more accurate since in Florida there is nothing resembling a hilltop let alone a mountain.

The second choice was called a hybrid. The tires were smooth down the center with a raised tread on the sides. A hybrid seemed like an SUV that is capable of climbing the sides of a mountain but is only used to traverse the local shopping center parking lot.

Leaving lost and bewildered, I then stopped at Dick's Sporting Goods. The quantity of bikes on display was very large, but it was still more of the same.

I decided to try the local Wal Mart. I normally don't shop there. The bike section was partly empty, and not well organized.

Sigh.

I had remembered a bike shop at one of the local malls here in town. I guessed that the prices would be higher but there would be a level of expertise to go along with it. I was right on both counts.

The woman was able to answer my questions about hybrids, tire pressure ( 90 lbs is better ), the value of a 21 speed bike, proper height and so on. But the prices. I felt like a credit check and a down payment would be needed.

So I headed home, not poorer, somewhat wiser.
The search goes on.

Maybe I should just stay with my old bike. Really it's not that bad.

coffee time

ray

The Urge To Create

The urge to create has been building up inside of me for a long time. When you have a job that essentially is designed to move product or help people find a way to to do something, which I do rather well, the moment is fleeting.

Helping someone might take a minute or two as I break down a problem into simple steps and guide them along the right path to completion. Or I sell something which may take 15 minutes or so and they will have something for years, but the interaction fades away over time,

But writing or drawing seems to be a vehicle that allows me to express myself in so many ways. In writing poetry, the words tumble out of my brain on to the screen seemingly with a life of its own. I never have to change anything, I just stop when I am done. When I feel some type of emotion, my writing is then my best, whether to convey disappointment or put myself in the place of another.

Drawing is another outlet rather new to me. After watching others show off their skills, one day I had to try to do something. Many attempts were rather crude and very annoying to me as I knew I could do better then what I was doing. But I took a rather bold step on my part and drew in front of people at work to push myself into getting better. Day after day I would try different things, thumbing through this book and that, trying to get a feel for drawing. Many a day I would wad up and toss my attempts, not satisfied with the results. Or slash line through what I drew in disgust. Then it seemed to get better.

I learned how to tune out distractions. I play my I pod which blocks out people's voices but also the little voice that talks saying I can't do this. I find myself becoming part of the picture I was attempting to draw, immersing my self and becoming part of the drawing, kind of spooky.

I started becoming bolder with my attempts. I now look for anything I think I can draw, the more renown the artist, the more eager i have become to try. I have not yet become good, just better.

I talk with people that draw or paint, trying to get my head around the thought process, a tip here or there and that they have been willing to share with me I am very grateful. It seems that they want me to succeed. A very nice feeling to be sure.

I now draw at home instead of work. I can work longer if need be, picking some hours I can spare to stay in the moment.  Some drawings take an hour, some a few days starting and stopping as I wrestle with how to do  what I am trying to do. I learn how to do something and a day later have to relearn it.

Some drawings, like the Strange Tree, involve many hours to complete. I worked on that for about 5 hours, unable to stop until it was complete, not wanting to lose the moment. When I finished it, I was exhausted, but pleased. Each drawing I do, I do the best I can and then walk away when I can't do more.

Why do it at all? It is a major feeling of accomplishment to create something from nothing. You are watching me grow, naked to the world on each attempt. For someone someday to say R J is an artist would be the most satisfying thing in the world to me. To make something that will last and endure over time would be sweet. I want to be known for something good. I don't have many years to develop, I don't have that kind of time I fear.

My time is now. The urge to create.
Thanks for listening.

coffee time
ray

William Blake-Newton Drawing

Picture found

William Blake- Newton 1795/circa 1805

My attempt

being that I am posting this Sunday night

I think a nightcap is in order

while I ponder is it a small success or

a learning step.

later

ray

also posted on R Jacob Post Artwork

5-15-11