Thursday, January 26, 2012

Do You Want A Bit Of Advice?


  1. Guidance or recommendations concerning prudent future action, typically given by someone regarded as knowledgeable or authoritative.

Giving or getting advice can be tricky. It can be felt as a sign of weakness or lack of ability or not knowing how to do something intuitively.

I know for example that taking some golf lessons would help me tremendously but I don't take them. I will listen to someone better then me during the course of a round of golf but I won't go to see the local pro for help.  I know I would feel embarrassed to have him watch me swing a club.

Sometimes a neighbor will ask me about something. I always pause a moment and think, do they want an answer or will they just do what they want to do anyway? 

Intelligence, however, can get confused with knowledge. There are enough people in the world that if you were to ask a question about anything, anything at all, someone would know the answer. That person or persons would be looked upon as authoritative, for the moment.

Sometimes people think getting advice is unwarranted, or meddlesome. Nothing can be further from the truth. I have a neighbor who, as far as I know, has never painted his house. I noticed that when it rains, the walls of the house are wet. This will lead to internal moisture problems and mold. I wrestled with telling him about it, him being a lawyer and such. Finally I did tell him. He was non responsive. The house has not been painted. I tried. If something goes wrong, at least I did my part, did what I could.

It is easy to miss something when you are attempting something difficult or learning how to do something for the first time. A little tweak here and there can be very helpful. 

But help and advice can be unwanted. If rejected, there is little chance I will offer again. I hate to be a bother. I won't watch in silence. I won't watch.

The look I get sometimes is if you are so smart...

So there you go, if you need any advice and I know how, please don't ask.

and now for a giant cup of coffee 
to soothe my ruffled feelings


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