Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Cookie Rules

This was passed along to me and for all of us worried about baking and eating and putting some weight over the holidays, perhaps this will help.

Christmas Cookie Rules...

1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no
calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and calorie free.

2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also
has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.

3. If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies
and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your
friend's first cookie is calories free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would
be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you
are, that makes your cookie calorie free.

4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to
your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.

6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones
have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!

7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!

10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!

So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies - we only get them this time of year!
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