Thursday, June 26, 2014

Monday, June 9, 2014

Saturday, June 7, 2014

What is most difficult for me

Confession time

I find it most difficult to have total confidence in me. There I have said it. I will be 62 in November and I seem to have been battling self doubt all my life. Confidence breeds success or is it success breeds confidence? I don't know. I come up with the occasional great, brilliant idea and lack the courage and or confidence to follow it up to see where it can go. I am a somewhat successful salesman, been one almost my whole life and yet I am not the superstar I should have been.

I wrestle with self doubts daily. How boring, I know. It is tough to talk about, not manly I know.

I feel I am running out of time to make my mark in the world. I do a better job of encouraging others then I do myself.  I applaud their effort and yet I barely acknowledge my own attempts at something. I help others all the time and yet I don't look for help from others. My life has been unfulfilling in the big picture of things. Who wrote this script and why do I follow it?

I need someone to sit me down in a room with a desk and chair and paper and pencil and say show me how it works and what do you do next? And continue till it runs its course. Does this make sense at all? Am I scared that my brilliant deductions and ideas and reasonings really aren't worth anything and I am afraid to find out?

I learned to be a loner in most things, do it on my own, figure out how and move on. Don't ask for help, that is my motto.

maybe I need a new motto.

coffee time
ray

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